Thursday, December 31, 2009

Closing time


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

2009 is very close to closing its curtain. It has finally reached the last day, and a brand new year will start tomorrow.

2009 marks a very special year to my life. This is the year where I took so many steps forward to maturity.

purely for holiday. I was back for good after a 3 year stint in NZ.

Where my career began, and I met a bunch of wonderful people in my Induction group.

I was posted to Kulim. I thank Allah that I was not sent somewhere else.

April - December
I am still here in Kulim. I remain to be the old me, with less interest in politics. The interest remains the same, but I am not that enthusiastic anymore in searching deeper than usual for the best news. My dislike for Utusan remains the same.

If I were to describe myself now, after 2009, the best word would probably (more) mature. I prefer to take things more calmly, wisely and more patiently. I can accept that Allah plans only the best for His faithfuls, only if we give the best of ourselves to Him.

2009 has also been colourful, in relative, where I braved myself to be in a relationship. It did not work out in the end, but I am thankful for what has been fated. For those who know me well, I am the type that previously was scared of commitment. I will not go into pages describing what I have done in the past, and it is none of anyone's business anyway.

2009 is also meaningful because it is when I took another step forward to maturity. I purchased my first ever car, with my own money.

In May, I travelled by air with family. I could not be prouder with the achievement to be the only Malay to walk down the aisle and stepped up to the stage to receive my scroll. I am out of words to describe how I felt, it was purely fantastic.

I hope to achieve more in 2010. To close 2009 with your boss' saying ' I am more than happy to accept you as A&E MO once you finish housemanship' is awesome. Though I am on call tonight, and undeniably busy expecting trauma cases, I can honestly say 2009 is a good year.

I keep no new resolutions for 2010. I know myself well. For everyone out there, you should have some. Make a standard for yourself, and there's nothing better than to know that you are better than what you think you are capable of.

My latest pic. I had dinner at Pizza before starting my on call very soon.

I close 2009 with one of my favourite songs,

Dashboard Confessional with Juli - Stolen.


till next time,

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Big Cinemas


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I am exhausted. It was the my 1st ever futsal in Kedah in my life. I did not score too many, but as they say ' form is temporary, class is permanent'. That explains me very well indeed.

Those goals are just some consolation to my failure in getting The Star today. In exchange, I opted for New Straits Times. I rarely buy any Media Prima products, due to my belief that they are the tool for Barisan Nasional to spread their lies. Let me know if you disagree with this, alright?

How cool more could I be?

These faces can tell you a lot of things kan. lol!!

This was taken in 2005 I think. One of the highlights of 2009 was the break up of 2 my good friends. They are no ordinary friends. I was eagerly waiting for their wedding. There's only 1 reason for that, that is the wedding of 'Tengku Annas Fathy' and 'Dayang Siti Yuhana'. It would be fabulous, wouldn't it? Sounds like a royal wedding, so who wouldn't want to be part of history.

It's easy to tell them that you do not always get what you what. Seriously, does that help should you be in trouble? It doesn't, does it?

Whatever it is, I should be happy that Liverpool closed the 2009 curtain on a high. Aquilani is now playing, Torres is back to what he does best and Gerrard, what more can you say about Captain Fantastic. A rumour says Liverpool are working to trash a 6-month loan deal for Van Nistelrooy. Awesome!

I should be sleeping now, but I still feel fresh. I am on call tomorrow, so how la?

till next time,

p/s I hope to write another one before midnight tomorrow.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Gigit Hantu


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

One funny thing took place in A&E Kulim Hospital today.

There is 1 70 year old gentleman who comes with shortness of breath. As he is talking to us, he tells us many things. We later examine him and find that he has only 4 toes on the left side. 'Why' we ask him.

Closing in to 2020, we usually would expect one to answer 'my diabetic control is a mess'. This is however not the case with this gentleman. He replies back with

'jari pakcik kena gigit hantu. Malam2 dia jadi hitam sebab hantu makan. Kalau pakcik baca ayat Qursi dia berhenti la. Pastu hantu tu datang balik. Kadang2 pakcik tak tidur sebab baca ayat Qursi je'

We can't help it. We burst into laughter.

It may sound funny to us. We can see how education sets our standards apart, regardless of your level.

The more important lesson from the story above is the emphasis of seeking evidence based knowledge. Lessons transfered verbally through generations have made the older generation like what we see today. I see this type of lesson has a little place in modern development.

Through knowledge we will also realise why do certain matters and avoid others. Some options will reap benefit through in a short space of time, and some will give you nothing in return though you have worked so hard to earn it.

That is why I do not 'amin' the doa with the imam post prayer. I wonder why the tradition continues when people know nothing about the meaning of the doa, yet they persistently throughout their lives they 'amin' the supplication.

Evidence based practice is important. It is not a sin to not 'amin' the supplication, but what is important is to seek help from Allah through the means/language that you speak.

This is no more a hollow entry. There's a lesson that you would pick up if you are smart enough.

till next time,

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Growing Discontent


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Dorothy says I'm a typical guy. I am the type that my day will be incomplete if I don't read newspapers, particularly The Star. I've been trained this way since I was a little kid. At this age, I only buy The Star.

Occasionally I will be reading Harian Metro. I don't buy them. In my humble opinion, papers like Harian Metro will only the hasten the downfall of the Malays. Seriously.

Not that the Malay papers are not up to the standard, but The Star and NST are packed with news. Furthermore it is not academic anymore in reading Utusan, Berita Harian and Metro. They are full with slanders, lies and gossips.

If a couple of the published letters in the Star, there is a wave of growing discontent in the Malaysian specialist doctors. Why, you might wonder.

There are too many medical universities in Malaysia nowadays. Also these profit taking agents have not showed any signs of slowing down in sending our Malaysian students abroad.

Being a doctor today is no longer reserved for the gifted minds.

How can you sufficiently train a doctor when you have 40 House Officers in the Orthopaedics Department?

Let's face it. This is not good.

For the record, this is not happening in Kulim.

haih.....Mr Big Shot, you are so cool!

till next time,

p/s if given the chance, who would you sign for Liverpool? Pavluchencko? Van Nistelrooy? Scott Parker? Vieira? I believe there are so many possible bargain signings out there. The only question, are they within Rafa's sight?

Sunday, December 27, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Never in my life I have felt so cheated. I create things and I rarely get any recognition. Fair enough, I work in Kulim, so I suppose I will never be famous enough to claim anything.

When Usain Bolt repeatedly broke the world record for 100m sprinting, whatever he did was deemed cool.

I think it was last year the first time he broke the world record. When he won, this was what he did

This picture was taken in 2006.

So how come Mr Bolt gets to claim this was his? Believe me, you'll never be able to run away from me even if you challenge me for a 100m race.

lol! It's a hollow entry, I know.

I can't write long tonight. I have a power point presentation to be finished the latest by tonight.

Till next time,

Saturday, December 26, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I had my on call last night, went home at 2 pm today and woke up at 6.30 pm. Lucky me, this time I decided to perform Solat Zuhur first.

We are close to bringing down the curtain of 2009. Time flies very fast to many, aye? It does not to me. If time was reversible, I'm pretty sure many would retract back 'time flies fast'. 26 years aren't short, so how can it be fast? I've had so many ups and downs, and yet I am still here.

I thank Allah for still giving me the chance to breath in the fresh morning air everyday. For many events that have taken place this year, I'm sure we have more reasons to smile and say Alhamdulillah, rather than to sulk.

As for me, every mistake is an opportunity to learn. When they say nobody is perfect, that means we need to be spending time learning everyday.

The biggest hiccup was probably the incident that happened in October. I recovered amazingly quick. It was never a 'tragedi oktober' or 'november rain' or 'my december' for me.

1 thing I learn everyday in A&E is do not take things for granted. Yesterday, a motorcyclist collided with another motorcyclist, and was rammed by a lorry subsequently. We tried for hours to resuscitate him, with bags of fluids and bloods going in, yet he passed away in the end.

Who knows, probably 2 hours earlier he was earning some extra money to help his family. Then, went home happily knowing he would be making wife happy. Suddenly, 1 drunken fella hit you from the back and you'd be fighting for your life the next second.

You see, this kind of story sells newspapers. The things that you do, you save lives, you build bridges or you predict a typhoon, these are ordinary stories.

Once, in the ward, all of us work for 4 hours to keep a patient alive. We were successful, and nobody thanked us. Did it matter? No. We were happy that he is still alive(if he still is).

There are events that have made my 2009 colourful. I will share more in my next entries okay.

till next time,

Thursday, December 24, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Dr Zainal and Dr Fazilah(A&E Specialists) gave a good teaching today. Very beneficial in my opinion. Not only I learned heaps from the specialists, but from the paramedics who are superb, having been in the field for a good number of years.

Should a disaster happen, a team of 2 doctors with 8 paramedics are definitely better than 10 doctors forming a group.

I did not take any pictures unfortunately. Would really like to share with you guys honestly.

Alright, I need some advice here. My current camera is 4 years old. I'm thinking of options that I have.

DSLRs- Will I have any time for photo hunting? Won't it cost you thousands for lenses and accessories?
Super Zoom Cameras - Apparently Panasonic FZ38 is the best on the market. Will I ever use its 18x zoom capability?
Compact - convenient, and cheap(er).

For the past 3 years, CameraLabs has been my best advisor. I buy T3 and Stuff too monthly.

I am still confused. I don't know what I want.

Maybe I should just focus on the ultra-short version of Lord of the Rings 3 on TV8. But TV8 have wrecked the movie so badly. Seriously, they cut so many scenes that it is impossible for the first timers to understand anything.

Or maybe go to sleep je la..esok on call.

till next time,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

The Beautiful Minds


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I'm amazed. It it true that great minds think alike!

My previous entry,

Ahmad Mugabe, Kasim Mendela

Tun Mahathir writes[full entry],

1. Dirtying and defacing the walls and buildings with writings and drawings is not a Malaysian culture.

2. But Malaysians as usual like to copy everything that is done by Europeans. It is part of their inferiority complex. Defacing public property seen in Europe and Latin America is now being taken up. Kuala Lumpur which has spent a lot of public money to clean and beautify is now being defaced with ugly graffiti.

This is why I have no plans to use Honda for a long term. Not as the only car at least. My dream is to see my people stand as tall as the Japanase, or American(if you insist).

When I say people, I mean both Malaysians and Muslims, regardless of race. I am with Nik Aziz, that I can accept a Chinese or Indian leader, as long as they are Muslim. Skin colour matters not to me.

till next time,

p/s: saw a gorgeous patient as the last one before I left for home today. Awesome!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Organ donation


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

The plan was to write something else but due to unavoidable circumstances, it has to be postponed.

Hence, I would like to share this article.

Israel : “Kami ambil organ mayat Palestin”.

Selasa, 22/12/2009 – Israel mengakui pada hujung minggu lalu bahawa para patologinya mengambil organ mayat rakyat Palestin dan lain-lain tanpa meminta kebenaran keluarga masing-masing. Amalan tersebut dikatakan dilakukan sehingga tahun 1990-an.

Pengakuan tersebut dibuat oleh bekas ketua institut forensik Israel berikutan pendedahan panas oleh sebuah akhbar Sweden yang menyatakan bahawa pihak Israel membunuh rakyat Palestin dengan tujuan untuk mencuri organ mereka. Israel menafikan laporan akhbar itu dan menggelarnya anti-semitik.

Pengakuan yang dibuat dalam satu dokumentari televisyen dilihat bakal mengundang kemarahan masyarakat Arab dan umat Islam di seluruh dunia. Ia juga mengesahkan sikap zalim Israel terhadap rakyat Palestin. Televisyen Iran yang turut melaporkan isu itu menayangkan gambar rakyat Palestin yang telah meninggal dunia dan cedera teruk.

Brothers, sisters, the Zionists are still on killing spree. The boycott, the ball is in your court if you would like to keep it rolling. I am doing my part, I choose to support the economy of Muslims, rather than doing the opposite way.

It is up to you.

As long as your choice is not to continue donating bullets to the Israelis, alright?

till next time,

Monday, December 21, 2009

Panggilan Illahi


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful


That is precisely how I feel at the moment. Sisters and my parents are leaving for Mekah for Umrah tonight. Long have they planned this, and I was part of it. Sadly, working as a junior doctor won't permit me a long holiday.

As you get older, your love towards your family goes deeper, very rightly proportionate to time. I gave my mother a call, and finished with "insyaAllah jumpa lagi tahun depan'.

I am appropriately emotional now. I will miss them.

Selamat beribadat.

Selamat pergi dan pulang.

Semoga amalan diterima kesemuanya.

Yang Ikhlas,
Azri Fikry

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Bintang(Di Syurga)


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Mr Big Shot. Location : Hospital Kulim

It is no rocket science to tell that Kulim is a district hospital. Kulim is still the old Kulim to the eyes of many, although the name has been changed to Kulim High Technology Park recent years ago. All the big shots set up their factories here, and the old folks will tell you Kulim 5 years ago was absolutely different in comparison to now.

Though there has been many talks that Kulim Hospital is to undergo upgrading, the talk so far has largely remained only a talk. Some improvements are evident, but for Kulim to cover a population of 200k size, they need more than what we posses here.

Anyway, my point is, Kulim in general is divided into industrial and plantation areas. As I was walking home from surau, my gaze was suddenly glued to the above sky. On the right side, it was full of stars. On the left, mainly at where the factories are located, the sky was nothing more than a plain black carpet. Even Switchfoot's Stars is better!

The view was breathtaking. It was so beautiful. I wanted to sit down on the curb at the roadside, and do nothing but stare, stare and stare at the sky.

Tapi nanti orang kata gila plak.......

We do nothing to save the world, but when the iceberg is melting down(already has!), we start to worry.

Talking is cheap eh?

till next time,

p/s: story of the day,

Mr Big Shot: makcik, burger ni baru masak ke?

Makcik Burger: Ya

Mr Big Shot: (dalam hati- pas amek burger tu) x panas pun..... =(

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Paradigm Shift


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I reached home 5 minutes ago, from the surau. It still amazes me to see people nodding heads to the left and right for tahlil. The speed and intensity were on the increasing rate as they reached towards the end of tahlil.

Doesn't it make you wonder whether it's ibadah or another traditional custom?

Ibadah berdasarkan dalil yang sahih/benar(Part 1/11)

As 1 of the top scholars put it, we are so concerned with originality of Levi's, but we care so little of our daily obligations'? For instance, tahlil and yassin on Friday night.

It's been emphasised many times that it is not this custom above that frustrates me. It's the same for many thinkers I suppose. There is no delight in seeing blindly followers, where you move to wherever the wind blows you.

It is sufficient to spark a new way of thinking by saying

-tiada bacaan yasin dan tahlil malam jumaat
-baca doa awal tahun
- tidak wajib membaca qunut,
- tiada tahlil untuk orang mati
- kebanyakan ini adalah adat orang melayu/arab/nusantara/afrika sahaja

Let us take these matters intellectually. Prove to me these were part of Rasulullah's practices. Prove its source. Show me the genuine evidences.

Islam starts very well indeed with the submission to Allah. Next what follows is to obey orders from Allah through His messenger. Don't make 'kembali kepada Quran dan Sunnah' as simply another rethoric

We rely too much on the veterans of our generation. Once they go away, who's the one to lead us on religious matters?

Let's get up to speed and march forward. This malaise has brought to the downfall on Palestine, and the majority of Muslim-majority countries.

Israel grows vegetables on Palestinian soil and uses as workes. How humuliating more could it be?

Step up and get up to speed. I hate being left behind.

Mari membaca!

till next time,

Thursday, December 17, 2009

1 gazillion!


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

This person without any doubt is the richest man in the world!


will update very soon. I've got too many things to think about at the moment. The ultra-packed schedule is not helping at all. A colleague is leaving on a 6-day break next week, which leaves us with only 3 house officers to run the show at A&E. Shoot!

Should I find a gap between the shifts, is anyone out there interested in Storm Warriors? Ring me.

Even better! Dah potong?

till next time,
p/s congrats the national football team for making us proud. Let's keep the momentum going!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Mencetus pemikiran@300th


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I was at home during the weekend. I tried using my P1 Wimax in Sg Buloh, but the outcome was not favourable. Hence the lack of updates. Sorry. I get restless just like to the many of you when I do not blog. hehe...not funny eh?

Really it was a rare occasion that I finally got the chance to meet my friends from Auckland. The last time was errrr, last year? Some of that have graduated, and some passed with extraordinary results. Congratulations to Syed Muhammad, who managed to obtain an A. Fantastic, to have an A in one of top 50 medical schools in the world!

Congrats to Dell and Helmy on your wedding!

I miss my time in Auckland. Auckland has taught me a lot of things. 1 of many was how to deal with things with evidence based. Regardless of the discipline, everything has got to have its reasons for its existence.

For example, financially it's a ridiculously big loss to treat URTI with antibiotics. Why, the number needed to treat(NNT) is too big to cure 1 case of URTI.

Same goes in dealing with religous matters. I learned that we are not obliged to 'amin' every supplication, post prayer especially. Qunut is never compulsory, and why reciting Yasin on friday night is just another Malay traditional custom. Not surprised eh?

It is not my intention to spark a debate or anything. It is important to note that everything has its reason why we do this and that. To the majority, following Quran and Sunnah is perhaps merely a saying. Literally they know what it means, but their mentality is shallow.

Same goes in the field of politics. To UMNO fans, UMNO is right and PAS is wrong. Vice versa to PAS supporters. There are 2 sides of each coin, and remember to judge both before making your decision.

The younger generation of Malaysians need to wake up.

till next time,

p/s this is my 300th entry. 40k visitors for 300 entries, not bad I suppose!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

After 26 years of my life, I now know that Doraemon does exist. This time, I don't know how, I don't know why, but he had turned me into a midget.

Akak, that fella in orange shirt is known not to be taller than me. What wrong have I done that Doraemon turned me 20 years younger?

Why, why, why? less than 40 minutes I will be in Emergency Department. Teach me how do I face the public, please?

till next time,

lame entry eh?

Quote of the Day - When prodded for a reaction, Mahathir fired: "He said I am a racist, don't ever say he is not because he knows everything very well. He(Nazri Aziz) belongs to a party which is racist... which is Umno."

Monday, December 07, 2009

Sakit Angin


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Syira's latest entry is funny. Her page is linked to mine, so have a read by clicking at her name.

It's ironic, and it is never my intention to highlight the inferiority of our Malay language. After working for 9 months in Kulim district, many, including the locally trained doctors find it hard to translate some of the traditional words into conventional English.

Sakit angin, sakit urat and sakit nyot-nyot are few of the heaps of subjective words. Sakit nyot-nyot lak tu?!

We always try our best to put ourselves in their contexts, but we have failed miserably sometimes.

Whatever their meaning is, we give our best shots to help this beloved Kulim community. It's difficult to compare between government and private hospitals. Of course you would get more in private, simply because you pay more. In A&E Departments, you cannot be expecting luxurious service if you pay only RM1.

In a way, the government has helped a lot in health related fields. For this, I take my hat off for them. Of course, highlighting the good issues won't sell the newspapers and magazines.

Even a slight delay in giving Paracetamol can make headlines today, I suppose!

Ridiculous, is it not?

Having said all of the above, I reiterate it again, I love my job!

till next time,

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Ahmad Mugabe,Kasim Mendela


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Not 1 week ago, there was 1 cute Malay baby boy who turned at A&E for a medical problem. His name was Ian(bukan nama sebenar).

Never in my life have I seen a Malaysian with names like Mugabe, Drogba, Sissoko and Mendela. What makes us similar to the Africans?

Malaysia, together with many other countries, are less fortunate compared to the Westerners. To us, whatever they do, they look cool.

We want to emulate them. We have the intention to do it.

Many of us look down at ourselves. We are still 2000km behind the US and UK in many disciplines. It's hard to compete after their divide and rule succeeded. They excelled too in the Iraq war, when the biggest library in Iraq was made one of main early targets.

It seems like the US to us are a still great race. We can't compete in the fields needed, so we tend to copy them in many other ways that we can think of. Mainly in the irrelevant ways, I suppose.

One example, English names appear illogically cool. Smoking appeals to the even educated ones, let alone the less educated ones.

Nobody is adapting to the cultures of African countries. Nobody dances around the fire, nobody names their son Khalid Mendela. Or Siti Arroyo. Or Faizal Chavez.

These are the fields that African Americans do well.

So are we, right? Sometimes I name myself Aquilani, Torres, Ballack. I never tried Kiatisuk Samoang, Noh Alam Shah, Bambang Pamungkas or Khalid Jamlus.

We need to pick ourselves up. Once Melaka, under the rule of Malays ruled the world. Madinah conquered 1/3rd of the world. The impact can still be seen. Christian Arabs name their kids Ibrahim and Yusof.

Sigh. Perangai bangsa yang kurang maju............

till next time,

Quote of the Day -

“MCA, which is Umno’s right crutch, is in chaos. So is MIC, who is Umno’s left crutch. So they have nothing to do but make accusations against me.

“They are like a grandfather with a crying grandchild. To stop the child from crying, they will say ‘Bird! Bird! Bird! Nik Aziz! Nik Aziz! Nik Aziz!’ They think we are stupid like them,” Nik Aziz said.

Bravo Nik Aziz.

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Standing In the Eyes of the World


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I am looking forward for January to come. This January should bring out some cheers, as Teresa has promised to deliver her promise. I will drive my 1st car of my life, but this comes together with some degree of betrayal.

I succumbed to the pressure. I have promised to many that Proton will be my 1st car. Long have I yearned to drive a car, made by Malaysians for Malaysians. To the followers of this blog, they know my stand that I would rather spend my money to flex the economy of Muslim rather than boycotting Israel products, with the hope to weaken the foes.

Therefore, I use a Zaiton toothpaste rather Colgate. Ramli Burger rather McDonalds. Petronas rather than Shell.

I thing I regret is I turned my back on things that I preach, in the last few months. I spent a few bucks at Starbucks and McDonalds. I sold myself in my attempt to please a human being. I truly regret that.

1 day, in a not so distant future, I hope to have a Proton key in my pocket. I want Malaysians, regardless of race and religion, to be on the front row in many leading fields. Including this Malaysian football wonderkid,

fantastic talent!

For me, it is never my style to see I win with a weakened opponent. Some people think differently, and it is subjective.

till next time,

Friday, December 04, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I went to Dinas with one intention today, to have a very full dinner so that I would be able to last the call tonight. I came back with super sleepy feeling, and I ended waking up feeling feverish. In less than 50 minutes, I will be at A&E again. Gile tak looking forward langsung kali ni.

I have nothing much to share today.

Kesian lihat Musa terduduk melihat kehebatan aku!

Enjoy the latest pic of Alberto Aquilani. We all hope Rafa will unleash him this weekend.

till next time,

Man City-Chelsea weekend ni.Gile best! Congrats to those who are getting married this month.

Thursday, December 03, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Lately in the past few days, there is one word that keeps on repeating on my mind again and again.


in simple, it means a fortunate accident. Google out the word and you'll find a better interpretation of the word.

This should serve as a motivation to me, to accept that not every bad thing that happens will mean I am doomed. A serendipity, perhaps?

I need some rest. So many patients today that I did not realise it was already 10pm.

till next time,

Wednesday, December 02, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I meant to blog about something else yesterday, but I completely forgot about it. So here it goes..

Just like any other days, I left for work at 7.50 a.m. yesterday. I saw a few non-emergency cases at the beginning, and suddenly a young lady came in with suspected Pulmonary Embolism. As usual, ABG is one of the first many things you perform. Funny thing is, being in district hospital, it so happened yesterday that 2 out of 3 ABG machines were out of order. So there was only 1 left in I'm-not-going-to-mention-which-ward.

To add salt to the wound, there was no doctor in the ward because everyone was attending a teaching session. I gave them a call, asking them to lend a junior doctor to help me with the ABG. They were going to say yes, only to be stopped by their seniors who persistently insisted them to stay for the session. Reason given was it's an academic session so nobody has the right to stop them.

My goodness, the patient was fighthing for her breath!

I was disappointed with the answer given. If their sister was suffering the same, I would probably not entertain their request if I was in a teaching session. I suppose it's fair, is it not?

The only positive note to be noted was few doctors returned immediately to the ward right after the session finished.

If only everyone realises that man made rules should be flexible.

Alhamdulillah, the patient's condition turned out not as serious as many had tought.

I suppose we ought to remember that we are not always lucky. Lady luck can turn her back on anyone anytime anywhere.

I'm off,

till next time,
p/s: kisah di atas tiada kaitan dengan sesiapa yang hidup atau telah mati.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Goreng Pisang/Pisang Goreng


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I realise that some people are less fortunate than the others. Put it this way, aren't we so often being ungrateful to know that many times we ride on luck to earn things we don't actually deserve?

I was having my lunch at Dinas tonight. What made TV3 cover this news is beyond my knowledge. This time they reported that the son of our legendary P. Ramlee is working his socks off as a cleaner to earn some money. He replies back with 'this is halal'.

I suppose he never imagined before that he would end up this way. Especially, having a father who rose to the lifestyle of rich and famous.

I pity him. I look at myself, I have earned relatively better that some people can only imagine. Yet, I thank Allah very little. To make it worse, we constantly add bad deeds added to our accounts.

Nobody wants to lead a poor quality life. Life is more laid back here in NZ, as that English lady once said to me.

One thing we are lacking here is effort. We lack knowledge also. We seem to be adapting well to bad Western cultures, when it is the good ones that we need the most, in order for us to progress and stand tall. We succeed in fields we should not have. Clubbing, smoking, drugs, you name it, we are there.


I am on call today. I am covering A&E tonight, and expecting a lot of trauma cases, since the rain was pretty heavy in the evening. If we are on call, we are given a break of 7 hours in the middle. So I went out to get some goreng pisang(ke pisang goreng?). I honestly don't know what me made think of this,but for how long this is pakcik is going to do this? Goreng Pisang for the rest of his life?

I think the day when our mindset needs to change should come earlier. We can't afford to wait for things to change, and we should instead be the ones to initiate the change.

1 day, personally, I want to see the Muslims, and the Malays here in Malaysia to be able to stand stall without the help of Malay's Special Rights.

I also personally think that I need to get rid of my laziness before I start preaching.

I'm off to work.

till next time,

Sunday, November 29, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I arrived safely at Kulim at 7 pm. It was a trouble free journey, though heavy rain at Gunung Semanggol slowed me down a little.

If I am not mistaken, I did mention that I would be celebrating raya here in Kulim. Surprisingly, it was rather unexpected that boss came to us and said ' Kamu semua cuti je la sampai Ahad'. So I packed up, so quick as if a master was whipping me at the back!

Raya this time around was relatively eventful. How can it be uneventful when you had diarrhoea on the 1st day? lol..I also received an invitation to go a friend's place in Kajang, to observe a slaughtering, but politely I had to say no. I just couldn't.

Anyway, I have made a booking for my 1st ever car, using my money. Alhamdulillah. Should there be no problem, the car will be ready in January. Alhamdulilah again.

In short, it has been a good weekend. Liverpool managed to TRASH(yeah right) Everton, and hopefully Internaziole, Bayern Munich and Barcelona will also pick up 3 points tonight. 1 thing that has spoiled the weekend was Roger Federer's exit in the semi final. Boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have I mentioned I had my first futsal in the last 9 months last night? It was a good run out, and I know I still have what it takes to survive amateur level. Impressive!!

How about this photo? Backstreet Boys look alike? lol!!

I'm out.

till next time,

p/s: joke of the day

BTN courses inculcate sense of patriotism, says BN leaders

Good one UMNO/BN

Friday, November 27, 2009

Kursus BTN


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I'm terribly sorry for the lack of updates. 1 did not bring back my P1 WiMax modem, and I did not expect our wi-fi router to be out of service. As for this entry, I'm using my father's computer.

P1 Wimax - DAH POTONG?


It's a good day today, therefore I don't want to spoil the mood.

Only 1 issue, our Deputy Prime Minister. He was questioning the relevance of Selangor state government's ban on BTN course.

Quoting the Star,
MUAR: Courses run by the National Civics Bureau are not aimed at “converting” people into joining Umno or Barisan Nasional, Deputy Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin said.

“I don’t know why they want to prevent people from attending nation-building courses to instil patriotism and the 1Malaysia concept,” he told reporters after presenting 31 cows for Hari Raya Haji to villagers in Pagoh yesterday.

What is the benefit of stopping the people from attending the courses?” he asked.

I personally have been to 2 BTN courses.

So, I guess he was telling the truth.


Will write again soon,

till next time,

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

2 views and 2 view


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It has been a good day. I did some extra-hospital work to earn some money, and I closed the curtain today with Pulseless Ventricular Tachycardia(or pulseless V-Tac, says Daniel Quistroff). Nice...

Has anyone had a look at the newly launched Kia Forte? For a 2.0L car, it costs only RM93k. I suppose the price is right if anyone is looking for a Class C car. I spoke to both of my brothers, and they share the same consistency in their views. Therefore I've made up my mind finally. I will opt for Alza, and I do not think there is any car out there that sits on par with this car. So, it's ALZA!!!


I am slightly different in comparison to other guys. Cars are not my passion. I speak better when it comes to latest gadgets and technology, where my passion truly lies. A friend came over to my room to discuss over his newly purchased camera, and he was rather surprised that it is not Canon, Nikon or Panasonic that sits on top of the best camera. Surprise surprise it's Fujifilm!

Elaborating more on cameras, Nikon has launched their new camera that incorporates a projector inside!

Samsung is the 1st camera to combine a digital compact camera, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth and GPS.

For the ladies, Samsung is also a good option for those who love taking self-taken photos.

the only sad thing about this technologies, we, the Muslims, are only the consumers. We do not posses the technology to rule the world.

As what Prof Yusuf Qardhawi is preaching in this video, we import everything from needles to missiles. We have become too lazy. We adapt very well to Western cultures with their clubbing, smoking and drugs. Congratulations.

I need to do some work before going to bed.

till next time,

Tuesday, November 24, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It's a relief to hear that my father is doing well post angiogram. Thanks to my mother for keeping me updated. Sometimes, things like this make you want to come back home often. However, stepping in to the real world, you don't always get things the way you want it to be.

Even better, for a junior doctor like me, we are only given 8 days off for 1 posting, that is equivalent to 4 months. Hasn't anyone told you that we work 7 days a week? Nice............

Even nicer, we work 365 days per year for 2 consecutive years. Nice........

Personally, though as bad as it sounds, I truly enjoy work.

Will I want to work for 10 years everyday non stop? YES!!!!

yeah right.

I need to get up early tomorrow

till next time,

Monday, November 23, 2009

No Remorse


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I made RM310 from 1 on call. Amazing, no? How did I manage to do it, let me keep it to myself. Perhaps, for the interest of everyone, I don't sell drugs or join MLM(multi level marketing).

I am physically and mentally drained. It was not a bad call last night, which makes my inability to fall asleep remains unanswered. I tried and tried, and I did not work. =(, =( and =(. The next morning, our beloved boss instructed me to perform a circumcision(for Muslim boys).

I nearly fell asleep while waiting for them to start. Being a rationale person, I thought it would be for the best if I, to the maximum, assisted. So they agreed, and I went for lunch right after the 3rd one.

Post lunch, I did not go home. I went to ...................(fill in the blanks).

In less than 4 days we the Muslims will be celebrating Hari Raya Aidiladha. It's too late to express my remorse now. I gave my colleagues the chance to apply for holiday since they live nearby. I did not know Hari Raya Haji was going to be on the weekend! Now who will I celebrate this Raya with?

Or where should I go to?

I don't want to come back home after Solat Raya and bring down my GCS level again.

On the other hand, I will be away to Langkawi for a week. Nice! Paid working-cum-holiday, how nice more could you want? Whangarei(pronounced as Fangarei), New Zeland

Or perhaps, a holiday like this?

Ideas people, ideas!

till next time,
p/s =)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sheer frustration


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I'm fuming. What a display by Dirk Kuyt. Call him Mr Duracell or whatever, for me, I have hardly wanted him in the squad!. Sure he does run a lot, but he's a striker for heaven's sake. Once, Torres was injured and he was made the lone striker. Being Mr Duracell, he wasn't even a threat, making things better, he was at times seen helping the defenders. We applaud his workrate, but that's not why he is paid for.

His display tonight was a shame. He's a man with good personality of course. Does this matter on the field? It does, but it means little if you have little skills to light up the match.

I do not hate players per se. At the end of the day, your goal statistics matter. Aye?

I am no different in comparison to other Koppites. We share the same frustration.

So do the Irish fans. Classic Mr Cantona comments,

"What shocked me most wasn't the handball, honestly," said Cantona. "What shocked me most was that at the end of the match, in front of the television cameras, this player (Henry) went and sat down next to an Irish player to console him, even though he'd screwed them three minutes earlier.

"If I'd been Irish, he wouldn't have lasted three seconds."

It's a bitter pill to swallow now eh Henry, coming from your fellow countryman?


I'm frustrated. I'm tired.

till next time,

Friday, November 20, 2009

Rambut gugur


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I had to go to Dinas right after my evening shift at A&E. Really, when I had my brunch at 10.30am, I thought that would be sufficient to keep my stomach full for at least 5-6 hours. Barely 4 hours post brunch, my body started converting fat to ketone to keep me awake. Huh..

I wanted to go out and get something for dinner(2nd lunch actually), but the visitors never stopped coming in and I had to entertain each and everyone of them. They came to A&E for reasons as trivial as conjunctivitis! This is absolutely an abuse to the system. How can everyone expect the hospital to be quick in treating them when they come with this problem?

Emergency in the word A&E means nothing to many I suppose?

I try to put myself into the shoes of the people, and I understand their plight. Having said that, I still think this creates an unnecessary burden to the staff of emergency department.

I will not force you to believe, but once a patient turned at 3 am(morning) anc complained ' Doktor, rambut saya gugur'. That doc replied 'dah berapa lama?', and as hillarious as it sounds he replied 'dah 3 bulan dah'.

It is subjective, though for me this is absolute nonsense.

Even if there was no Klinik Kesihatan available @ midnight, you need not come at 3 am for this right? Pasal rambut gugur lak tu!

I'm tired. I need sleep.

till next time,

MAN CITY - LIVERPOOL this weekend. Any prediction? Aquilani to start?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mission Accomplished


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

My day started off very well indeed! My alarm was set at 5.50, 5.55 and 6.00 am, but ironically it woke me up at 6.30. In less than 25 minutes, I managed to get myself ready for an Basic Emergency Course at Sultan Abdul Halim Hospital, Sungai Petani. Efficient right?

I thought the whole course was beneficial. Now I feel more like a doctor, that I need to be constantly prepared for whatever may come. Even things that I thought I knew very well, I could not be more wrong. For instance, one needs to be careful in interpreting fine VF(ventricular fibrillation) and asystole. To defibrillate or CPR eh?

What makes it more memorable was the presence of 1 very cute Chinese(Malaysian) girl. I almost melted at room temperature. I stood still however, being the cool me as always.

The course ended at 4.30 pm. Dorothy and I, we thought we should make use of our rare trip to Sg. Petani. So, we decided to give it a go. We roamed around the town and found some interesting places, to me at least.

Interesting, isn't it?

I never set out any mission for today. Nevertheless, I felt mission accomplished when I reached Kulim again.

Did I not mention the shirt that I bought? A white T-shirt bearing the picture of Steven Gerrard - Captain Fantastic.

I feel good. It was a fruitful trip. Cute Chinese Girl, Anfield Burger and Steven Gerrard shirt? How complete more could you want?=)

till next time,

Monday, November 16, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I have been working in the government hospital for close to 9 months now. I suppose my 3 year stint in NZ has largely influenced the way I work and think.

I'm now in my 2nd week of my 3rd posting. I am now placed at Accident&Emergency. I still find it weird to be known as Dr Azri.

In NZ, Dr Azri is only reserved for me if I ever become a Consultant. In Malaysia, I suppose it's the pride of 'Oh, I'm a Doctor, therefore people must address me as Dr. X'. Even if you are only in Day 1! Whichever way you want to address me, I will not turn my back on you. On the whiteboards, many House Officers(junior doctors) will leave their name and phone no as Dr X - 019-2222222. For me, it's written by me this way - Azri - 019 2222 222. Easy, no?

It also makes me restless that I have to put on my white coat on daily basis. I think it's better not to mention why. During my medical student days, white coat was never compulsory. We go to hospital with our normal formal working attires.

By no means I want to say the practices here are bad. I love my job. If I was only given a chance to state my reason for coming back, it has to be none other than my love to this country. Here in Malaysia, terima kasih means much better than thank you. I am posted a district hospital, and I am thankful to Allah for whatever He has given to me.

Now that it is my 9th month in Hospital Kulim, I find that I have done more things(procedures) in comparison to my colleagues in NZ and Australia. I don't know much about UK, Scotland or Ireland. Here in Kulim also we don't have too many house officers (which is good of course)!

So, is Malaysia a bad place? No at all!

Afiq, Yan, Yop, Keri, Tapa, Pokeh, Ikram, Rafi, Mr Big Shot, Akak, Huzaimy - 2006

My 3 year stint in NZ has also made very happy when NZ All Whites have qualified for next year's World Cup 2010 in South Africa. Well done! Who knows, if they know how to do 'Haka' well, they might scare off Brazil and go all the way to win the World Cup. lol! talking about fantasy eh?

Malaysia - New Zealand All Whites 2006.

Congrats again to the All Whites!! It's a sheer joy to us who spent a minimum 3 years in NZ.

I need to stop writing now. I am on call tonight.

till next time,

p/s having said whatever I have said above, I know I am far from becoming a perfect person. =) and =(

Sunday, November 15, 2009

You're Cool!


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

You're Cool!

yeah, I'm pretty bored at the moment. I'm 4 hours away from my routine night sleep, but I reckon I need to have some intellectual input to my already rusted brain. I know so little yet there's a huge responsibility rested on my shoulder. Therefore, I'LL STILL BE ONLINE tonight but lesser attention will be given I suppose.

Yeah, I need to start studying now. My Canadian ex-classmate told me, stop using 'yeah'. The Kiwis use 'yeah' a lot.

till next time,

Saturday, November 14, 2009

X factor..


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I love my job!! Everyday I wake up I will forward to having a good day. This A&E(Accident & Energency) posting is fun and thrilling. You get to see from same lame old cases to the ones you would only see in once in a lifetime. Everyone is nice, they talk to everyone, and for me it wasn't that difficult to mingle with these MA's(medical assistants) as I play football with them.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic, previously in the blue and black of Internaziole.

It is either they are nice people or I am super friendly. I think it's the latter!! lol..

It is also this good feeling factor that makes me back on my feet. Previously my page averaged an average of 1000 visitors per month. I have lost that in the last few months and now slowly I am getting them back. Good good. I did not install 'feedjit' if you know what I mean. So feel free to roam at this page anytime anywhere.

I haven't solat yet. Till next time. It's 11.48pm local time.


Friday, November 13, 2009

The Blessing


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

little by little, now I can slowly the blessing from that 'incident'. Alhamdulillah. It is getting more obvious every day.

I don't see it as a loss now. I really don't.

This is your life as you have chosen. You decide as you would like.

For whatever mistakes I have done to myself, I pray to Allah that He will forgive me.

To those who might take this issue differently, the word revenge is non existent in my life's dictionary, honestly. I pray for everyone's well being. I am the type that keeps no enemy. I feel guilty even if I scold somebody for the right reason, and hopefully that tells a lot.

till next time,

p/s: off to work soon (making extra money)

Business mode


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

today we received our schedule for November. Pretty flexible the way I see it. I get to organise now how to make extra money, and a lot of things too.

I have only just come back from lepak-ing session with my MO and MA. They were sort of persuading me to join into their business venture. Looking @ the money prospects, I suppose I have more reasons to say yes than no. The question is, will I have the time to commit myself to another commitment, when I can't accomplish my current mission properly.

As everyone would like to put it, money is not everything. I bet more than 99.784% would agree money is important and can give you loads of things.

Kuih business, perhaps?

Having said this, few who know me relatively well, money is never on top of priority list. This could be utterly rubbish, but, money and power do not appeal to me as much as other things.

For example, insyaAllah, I would trade my holiday for an umrah. And I wouldn't mind spending perhaps thousands just for an experience @ the Kop, Merseyside. Or as boring as it sounds, I want to be @ the summit of Bekelah, the 7 layered waterfall. Counting the real stars here is so much better than the journey Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith endured in ID4(Independence Day).

Should I join the business? Many have interpreted this wrongly, but this is one of the instances where solat istikharah is encouraged.

Whichever decision I may take, I seek for Allah's guide. He's the Best.

till next time,

Wednesday, November 11, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Somehow, I feel addicted to writing again. I get to express my thoughts, though I am a bit selective in choosing the subtopics.

Today marks the 1st day of my A&E run. It was fun. The day kicked off with 1 MVA. It was my first time, and though my right hand was shivering(obviously), I managed to calmly cannulate the patient. Ironic is it not? Cannula can be interpreted as branula in Malaysia, but tell me, could you branulate if you were asked to cannulate a patient. Sounds funny, doesn't it?

My English sucks. That's the reason why I brought back my English for Malaysian to Kulim.

Interestingly, I got palpitation while walking to the ward. Eh, I should have had an ECG, shouldn't I? Yeah, if it was for the right reason, then you make the decision okay.

My life resolves on a lot of things these days. Most likely I would not be going home for Raya Haji. It's obvious that I wouldn't, due to a short period holiday.

I have also proudly pledged to donate my organs. Long have I planned to have this done, and finally the day has come. There's only 1 reason for this. Simple, it is an investment. An investment that hopefully will pay its divident when it matters. Whoever gets these, regardless of your religion or race, it is well beyond my knowledge. What I've been taught is to be kind to everyone.

This is not 'riak'. My intention is solely to encourage all the Muslims to do the same.

I am sleepy. Tagging lasts from 8am-10pm daily.

till next time,

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

17 again


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

alhamdulillah, I have turned 17 today. I have received so many birthday wishes that I find it impossible to reply to all. Therefore, thank you to everyone. You guys have made my day.

I woke up quite early!!!early is subjective, if you find me waking up @ 9 am today is late, I won't be arguing with you. Hehe..This is my last day of holiday before I join A&E tomorrow. Therefor, being a productive me, I went to post office, mamak and hospital eventually to sort out my stupid log book.

Got a message from Kit Chung today, 'Joe, happy birthday', u r 26 so act like 1'. lol!!!Kit Chung was a brother to me in Auckland. He's very open minded and I find it easy to discuss anything like a mature man. Mature as in the way of thinking la, not age. I miss our lepaking session la bro..

I wish for a better Azri Fickry for years to come. Better in all aspects, and mature in taking on the challenges of life. I regret none of the things that had happened before, they are part and parcel of life. You win some and you lose some. You tell people that you can't have everything in life, and ironically when life hits you badly, you feel like slapping them in the face for saying that. I suppose I'll try to now walk the talk, rather than talking rubbish.

Ezhar Fahim(cousin), Azizi(2nd bro), Azri Fickry(Mr Big Shot)

The latest pic of me. Kelate 1-3 N9. Fantastic experience I tell you. Previously I've been to many finals, but nothing beats this frenziness in Kelantanese supporters.

I still can't believe I am now 26. If it helps(me), that 20 year old Malay girl @ the laundry asked 'awak ni student lagi ke'? that cooled down the soul bro..

This day is also now a reminder to me that each day takes me closer to death. Whether I am ready for it or not, should the fate decide it is going to happen tomorrow, it will happen. Allah Knows Best.

to conclude, all praise be upon Allah, and I thank Him for whatever You have given me in this life. Alhamdullilah.

"Ya Allah, berikanlah kebaikan kepadaku di dunia, kebaikan di akhirat, dan jauhilah aku dari azab nerak". Amin

till next time,

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Kembali Ke Asas


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

sesetengah perkara boleh diubah. Mungkin cara bermain bola, hiasan rumah, cara pemakaian dan juga cara berinteraksi.

Sesetengah perkara, seperti perangai, juga boleh diubah. Tetapi mungkin sukar untuk sesetengah individu.

Kita cuma manusia biasa yang hanya tahu merancang. Kita tidak tahu apa akan terjadi pada masa hadapan. Kerana apa? Kerana kita manusia dan tiada sesiapun di kalangan kita pernah atau akan menjadi Tuhan.

Kita tidak tahu keputusan yang kita buat ketika ini adalah kejayaan atau kesilapan pada masa hadapan. Ia terlalu subjektif. Mungkin satu tahun daripada sekarang, kita akan berfikir dan ingin masa dipusing kembali dan kita buat keputusan yang sebaliknya.

Tiada manusia yang sempurna sebenarnya. Julio Ceaser pernah berkata 'Kami datang, kami lihat dan kami takluk'. Tidak semua yang ditakluki beliau membawa kepada kebahagiaan ataupun kejayaan.

Yang penting, semuanya yang telah lepas telah menjadi sejarah. Kita bersyukur kepada Allah atas segala rahmatNya, dan kerana kita manusia, kita wajar mempelajari kesilapan kita. Allah Maha Mengetahui, dan mungkin kita jatuh sekarang, tetapi mungkin 10 minit lagi, kita akan berada di puncak dunia.

Mungkin juga kita rasa kita telah berjaya sekarang, tetapi 15 minit lagi kita terjatuh.

Allah Maha Mengetahui.

till next time,

p/s talking to friends helps a lot. Thanks.

The World of Purchase


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Honestly telling, I thought I was close to being the normal me. I thought I accepted well what was discussed that night. Somehow that 95% has gone to 85-90% now.

If I were to speak up my mind, I would probably feel slightly relieve. Knowing that these thoughts that occupy my mind are expressed out to the right parties. I have the guts I suppose, but as I said, I would just swallow my pride if I have to. As I have said before.

I've felt for months that I have nothing to prove.

Have I got a long way to run
Yeah, I run

I bid farewell to the beautiful journey I treasured. Nothing lasts forever, eh?

till next time,

Friday, November 06, 2009

The Lesson


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I am now @ KL. This is home. Though not too many are around at the moment. Everyone's grown up and has the own families to take care of, so my day has been relatively uneventful till now.

Last time, during holidays, right after work I would immediately get my car started and drive down to KL. The motivation wasn't there last night, and I was post call plus I needed to get my log book sorted out. I suppose the motivation is always there, but it has become less.

I think I am now better. Perhaps 95% ?

Now I think I know why this has happened. Truly, Allah knows Best. He plans only the best for His faithfuls. It's a lesson for me. After doing some unplanned thinking, I think before I lost her, I had lost myself much earlier. Really. I did what I preach as incorrect. I lost the battle.

Nevertheless, I will never put the blame 100% on me. I have no regrets in my intention to stop you.

Now that it has happened, I sincerely wish you all the best in your future. We are friends still. =)

I need opinions here. I've contemplated a few options as my 1st car. Should I go for,

a) Honda City
b) Toyota Altis
c) Civic
d) Lancer(less likely now)

Really I am confused.

This weekend I am proud to announce my support for Kelantan. Gomo Klate Gomo!!

till next time,



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

tomorrow is Organ Donation Day, InsyaAllah, I would like to pledge mine. InsyaAllah.

n right after that, I am off to Kuala Lumpur for a 5 day break. I badly need this, because I have been working extremely hard.

I will write again.

till next time,

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Walk the talk.


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I am sorry for the lack of updates. I have been busy, and doing every alternating day calls is taking its toll on me. I feel burnt out.

1 thing that keeps me going is the thought of going home(KL) this Thursday/Friday.

I didn't know how to say 'no' after so many times, therefore I did my 1st locum yesterday after 4-5 months. I felt hollow. I don't why I work so hard to earn extra money for. I need guidance. I need help. I need to feel what is the purpose of life. I don't need words, I need a guide.

Allah has His plans when he made me work back to back on calls for 8 consecutive times with only 1 day off in the middle. I was slightly depressed, and I have recovered, though not 100% yet.

For me, money gives you a lot of things. Unfortunately, they can't provide you everything. I have been blessed with a lot of things, and being a normal human being, I am never satisfied with what I have. I want a long lasting trouble-free life, and as my good friend had said 'bukan senang nak jadi senang, dan tak susah nak jadi susah'. kan? and there is another life in the Hereafter that we are chasing for too, so bukan senang nak jadi senang kan?

Let's not sulk anymore, shall we?

Azri Fickry - 2 years ago. hehe. Slash Guns N Roses eh?

till next time,

Friday, October 30, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

look at how these verses from the Noble Quran are arranged, SubhanAllah,

17. Maka apakah mereka tidak memperhatikan unta bagaimana dia diciptakan,
18. Dan langit, bagaimana ia ditinggikan?
19. Dan gunung-gunung bagaimana ia ditegakkan?
20. Dan bumi bagaimana ia dihamparkan?
21. Maka berilah peringatan, karena sesungguhnya kamu hanyalah orang yang memberi peringatan.

I'm sure it sounds amazing to your ears too, right?

I can only imagine how beautiful it is when recited in Arabic, a language that I do not speak at all.

Allah knows Best

till next time,

Thursday, October 29, 2009


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I saw on the television tonight that the 1st group of Malaysian has arrived safely in Mekah. Alhamdulillah. I should be envious, though the feeling isn't so obvious at the moment. I still remember the day my parents went off to Mekah the 2nd time in perhaps early 2000, I felt a little distressed having them leaving us, albeit temporarily.

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They must have felt the same I suppose. Leaving the ones that they love so adorely, the ones that they raised from day 1 to where and what we are now. Alhamdullilah, Allah knows Best.

'La Tahzan' or Jangan Bersedih as mentioned in the Noble Quran. We feel sad inappropriately at times. These people in Mekah are performing the 5th pillar of Islam.

Alhamdulillah, should everything be accepted by Allah, The Most Gracious the Most Merciful, the selected people will go to heaven.

These people are doing good deeds.

6. Hai manusia, sesungguhnya kamu telah bekerja dengan sungguh-sungguh menuju Tuhanmu, maka pasti kamu akan menemui-Nya.[1565]

7. Adapun orang yang diberikan kitabnya dari sebelah kanannya,

8. maka dia akan diperiksa dengan pemeriksaan yang mudah,

9. dan dia akan kembali kepada kaumnya (yang sama-sama beriman) dengan gembira.

Are we in this group above. Many, including me, are taking for granted that tomorrow will come. We do this everyday. We see this day everyday. That unfortunate Chinese girl lost her eyesight in a split second. 1 was happy the day before raya, n barely a week after it, everything went upside down.

No one can promise you the next day will come.

Quran has nicely reminded us

21. Maka berilah peringatan, karena sesungguhnya kamu hanyalah orang yang memberi peringatan. (88. Al Ghaasyiyah)

I would gladly accept any guidance to make me feel the purpose of life. We keep on sinning, we keep on looking for entertainment, we constantly look for this and that to fill on the empty heart of ours. I can feel it, so it does to everyone I am sure.

I know the Judgment Day will come, but why am I acting as if it will not? I don't want to be in this group,

12. Dan, jika sekiranya kamu melihat mereka ketika orang-orang yang berdosa itu menundukkan kepalanya di hadapan Tuhannya, (mereka berkata): "Ya Tuhan kami, kami telah melihat dan mendengar, maka kembalikanlah kami (ke dunia), kami akan mengerjakan amal saleh, sesungguhnya kami adalah orang-orang yang yakin."(32. As Sajdah)

I intent not to spread hatred to anyone. As I have said, if it means I have to swallow my pride, I will do it.

to the ones where bonds have broken, I ask for your forgiveness. Things may be not be the same anymore, but it doesn't have to be worse. Right?

till next time,

Sunday, October 25, 2009



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I thought I was losing sleep again last night, but Allah is Almighty, He gave me 3 hours. Alhamdulillah.

Everyone that knows me well, knows I don't make enemies with anyone. I just don't. So for the best interest of everyone, I am willing to swallow my pride. Even if it makes me lose my sleep. Allah knows best, and I hope this will be rewarded in the Hereafter.

I wish everyone a good life. However you define it, it is always yours to decide.

Maybe what has happened is a reminder from Allah. I was aware what was wrong, but I could not help myself. I was weak. I led myself astray.

Perhaps it was because I stole somebody else's property. Now that it could well have been stolen again, I realise I am not perfect.

My brother in law wrote an article perfectly at the right time when I need it the most. Allah loves us all.

Hidup di dunia tidak lepas dari ujian dan dugaan dari Allah. Itu sudah menjadi rencah kehidupan manusia. Ada dua jenis bentuk ujian buat manusia, ujian dalam bentuk kesenangan dan ujian dalam bentuk kesusahan. Cuma, acapkali apabila disebut ujian Allah maka rata-rata manusia beranggapan ujian itu adalah dalam bentuk bala dan musibah. Ramai yang lupa akan ujian kesenangan yang datang dalam pelbagai bentuk kekayaan, kekuasaan, kesihatan dan bermacam-macam lagi. Bahkan ujian kesenangan sebenarnya lebih sukar kerana kebiasaannya manusia itu lupa kepada Tuhan tatkala dirinya mengecapi pelbagai kesenangan hidup. Apabila ditimpa kesusahan, kebanyakan manusia akan kembali menyeru Tuhannya.

Apakah ciri manusia yang sabar? Manusia yang sabar ialah mereka yang apabila ditimpa kesusahan akan segera ingat kepada Allah, dengan berkata, "Inna lillah wa inna ilayhi raji'un," bahawa hidup kita ini secara keseluruhannya adalah hak milik mutlak Allah - apa sahaja yang kita miliki, baik harta, kuasa, bahkan nyawa kita dan orang-orang yang kita sayangi kesemuanya adalah hak milik Allah. Maka pastinya Allah berkuasa melakukan apa sahaja yang dikehendaki-Nya ke atas segala yang dimiliki-Nya, dan akan tiba masa dan ketika di mana kesemuanya akan dikembalikan kepada-Nya.

read more here, there's 1 beautiful story included.

yeah, perhaps it's my turn to be at the bottom now. Right when I am back on top, I shall not forget what has happened to me, InsyaAllah. I wish I can become a person that harbours no ill feelings towards not just anyone, but everyone.

At the moment, nobody knows me better than I do.

I will be better. I can do that.

till next time,

Friday, October 23, 2009

Isn't it.By right.


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I am currently watching National Budget 2010 on RTM 1. They haven't mentioned yet any bonuses for the government staff members therefore I'll only wait for the summary on the newspaper tomorrow. Hehe..

I finally had a good sleep last night, though it lasted only for 4 hours. Alhamdulillah, I cherish that a lot. I believe I am on the right track to put the past behind, and ready to move on. Alhamdulillah again..

Sometimes, when things happen, we are only human beings that we tend to remember more of the bad things rather than good ones. Normal, is it not?

On another subject, I find this annoying and hmm, I don't know..these Malaysian doctors very more often than not use 'by right' and 'bla,bla,bla....isn't it'. Whatever they utter out, they will add up isn't it?

-They bla bla bla....isn't it
- you cannot do that, isn't it.
-bla,bla, bla isn't it.
-you don't know anything isn't it.
- by right you bla bla bla
- and by right by right by right

yeah, because they are seniors and they are so 'senior', you will become a yes man. Yes boss. Whatever they say is correct, and your job is to execute everything. You get no thank you for 99% of what you do, and for 0.0000005% that you might forget, you might get extended. Lol...


till next time,

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Move on..


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I find it rather easy to say 'Be strong', or 'Sabarlah' to those who are in troubles. When you go through it, sometimes you will feel like slapping them on the face for saying that. Not that it isn't true, but I suppose in this difficult time, the majority would prefer to have some time and space alone. Or to have some listeners who would listen to your stories, though you know they can never give you any solution.

I guess what I am saying is be careful with your words to your friends okay..

I was going through Youtube and found Janet Jackson's 1997 chart topper - You Don't Know What You've Got till It's Gone. Goodness me, how I know she(JJ) is so right. I realise that it is too late, and if only I could turn back the time, then I would do it. Many things we take for granted, and Allah knows best, in a split of a second they are gone. If you are lucky enough, sometimes they come back to you. In my case, I can only hope.

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Though your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone
Walk on walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

Being realistic, I have to move on with my life. Liverpool is losing, but their 'You'll Never Walk Alone' is always an inspiration.

I will come good, I promise.

till next time,