Thursday, May 31, 2012

Komplen bro!


I am now in my on call room. I could be called to see a new patient anytime. I've had my lunch so I thought, why not spend some time writing?

Ever since I started work in Banting, the longest streak of being away at home was 3 days and 2 nights. This time, this is my second night, with 2 more nights to go. 5 days away, and it is like one of the longest period of waiting I can recall.

I was in Kulim before, and returning home once a month is a bless before, I shouldn't be complaining, should I?

Long have I yearned to settle down in 1 place. Go to work, then home, some exercise, prayer and spend time with the family before calling it a day. I really want that. My life is like a nomad. 1 day I am in Banting, the next day in TTDI, and Melaka the day after.

Patience is the key. Patience is a virtue.

Today, one of my colleagues left us for a greener pasture. She's currently pregnant for the third one. She admits that it is a sacrifice that she has to make for the family. Husband is pursuing his studies to become a Oromaxillofacial specialist.

I reckon the only to stop becoming a slave is to gain as much knowledge as possible. Then climb the ladder up before you can eventually start giving orders. The climb is the most difficult part, once it is overcame, the greener pasture will be more green that the greenest you could ever imagine about.

Even when you reach the top, you will still be ranting of this and that. A complaint makes you plan what is better for you, doesn't it? So complaining is not really bad after all!

till  next time,

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

For my wife


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I find this song very soothing, and I wanna dedicated it to my beloved wife.

till next time,

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Emo, Distressed


in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

We finished celebrating Yah's(niece) birthday an hour ago. I am now in my room and I feel so lonely tonight. I do not know why.

Life hasn't changed much. Routine takes place everyday, but sometimes it gets very dull. I wake up to the same thing, work, work  and work. It takes 2 1/2 hours minimum everyday for TTDI-Banting-TTDI trip.

What I think is ideal is to have a free and meaningful weekend, where time can be allocated for family and friends. Ever since coming to Banting, I have worked than 50% of the weekends each month. Imagine having to work in 3 out of 4 weekends. Don't ever mention the normal working days.

There are things you will never understand. Here in Malaysia, we produce more than 4000 doctors per annum. Where do these people go after completing their housemanship? We seem not to have enough doctors wherever I go.

Selangor and Kuala Lumpur are 2 states that I find it difficult to fathom. They have the most number of house officers. Apparently it is their policy that all will be sent out of state upon completing housemanship, meaning they will be everywhere all over the country.

The scenario above will directly tell you there is abundance of doctors in the states non Klang Valley. That isn't the case it seems. Every state seems to be struggling with the number of doctors. Ironic, these states have a policy that many will be retained within their own respective states.

So, funny is it not when you wonder where these doctors are?

Go on talking that doctors need to render the best to the needy ones. Don't get us wrong. The majority of us are doing are this for our passion. Does this mean we need to sacrifice everything for your happiness, and leave us with none?

We are not void of feelings you see. We want to see our family and friends too.

One cannot help to wonder why teachers get the most attention in our country, when actually we are the ones working for 30 consecutive hours, sacrificing our sleep and weekend for the people? Do we get the pay that we deserve? No!

My bad, forgive me. We are doctors. We ought to be doing this for free. We are robots.

enough of emo stuff

till next time,

Sunday, May 13, 2012



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

This is my 500th entry of this blog.

In conjunction with Mother's Day today, I would like to wish Happy Mother's Day to my mother. I love you dearly, and I thank you for all you have done for all of us. Papa's passing hasn't been easy to all of us, let alone you.

Allah is the Perfect Planner. He's the Almighty. From the time I got transferred to KL, till now. Everything swings into a motion smoothly. Though the schedule was ultra hectic, I was given the priviledge to be with my father for 5 months.

I miss his presence.

All I can say is I want to make this entry a tribute to my mother and late father. I offer my service to the both them, while I am still alive. I make doa to Allah to forgiv, and bless them.

till next time

Tuesday, May 08, 2012



in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It is 1 am, and I do not feel sleepy yet. It takes to get used to the feeling that your loved one has left you, forever.

It was just another Friday for me last week. I hadn't seen my wife for 2 weeks, so I decided to spend some time in Melaka with her. I last saw my dad Tuesday last week, when we watched the Kelantan Kedah game together. I went to sleep after the game, and so did he.

Wednesday was my locum, and the day after I had to stay for my on call. Therefore, Friday I thought I should be in Melaka. In the evening I went online to book for 2 tickets. At first when I received the call from Ana(my sister), I thought it was just another call from her, so I decided not to pick up, since I was in the movie. She called again, and I felt something was not right. She was crying, and said 'Papa pengsan".

I immediately left the building, and told my wife that we needed to drive back to KL, as soon as possible. We never packed, and I was in constant contact my sisters, tried telling them what to do. I couldn't think straight, I don;t know what made me call Collin, but I did. I told him, my brothers have started CPR. What a good man he was, he ran immediately from his place to give his best shot to help reviving my dad.

Along the way, another sister called, telling me 'papa dah takde'. I was already quiet when we started to drive from Melaka. I did not drive. I told my wife 'if you think you can drive any faster than me, then, please, drive the car'. She took the key without question.

The moment we reached TTDI, tears started flowing down. I just couldn't help it. There was a large crowd when we reached home. I never planned what to do or how to react. I first hugged my brother, and soon after, I went in. I was in disbelief with what I saw.  Believe me, I can't remember when was the last time I cried this bad.

Being a doctor, seeing dead bodies is a norm. You get numbed after seeing one case after another. It doesn't make you treat the next one any worse, however. You always try to give your best to keep one alive, and sometimes you are lucky, and sometimes you just have find your way to sleep through the night. This time, It was my dad.

Everyone knows 'nobody lives forever'.

Today is Day 3 since his passing. I thank everyone, especially my mother, my syblings, relatives, friends and colleagues. The support that we have had is extraordinary. My mother has been the pillar of strength for all of us. It is not that easy to let the memory go away just like that. She had 36 years together with him, went through ups and downs with him. 

We sorely miss you pa. None of us can afford to be alone at the moment, otherwise tears would be shed. Everything at home reminds us of papa.

We hope you are doing fine there. We will try to send you gifts everyday.We know you are watching us, and hopefully we will make you happy everyday. To be where we are now, we are thankful that Allah lent you to us. It is an unforgettable journey that we have had.

It is beyond our imigination that you have exerted so much impact to the public as well. They have written so many thing about you pa.


DR ASRI - AYAHANDA FICKRY! Saya tangisi pemergian ini

Fickry, Anak Kelantan dan Karangkraf


Take care, pa.

till we meet again.