Komplen bro!

Assalamualaikum

I am now in my on call room. I could be called to see a new patient anytime. I've had my lunch so I thought, why not spend some time writing?

Ever since I started work in Banting, the longest streak of being away at home was 3 days and 2 nights. This time, this is my second night, with 2 more nights to go. 5 days away, and it is like one of the longest period of waiting I can recall.

I was in Kulim before, and returning home once a month is a bless before, I shouldn't be complaining, should I?

Long have I yearned to settle down in 1 place. Go to work, then home, some exercise, prayer and spend time with the family before calling it a day. I really want that. My life is like a nomad. 1 day I am in Banting, the next day in TTDI, and Melaka the day after.


Patience is the key. Patience is a virtue.

Today, one of my colleagues left us for a greener pasture. She's currently pregnant for the third one. She admits that it is a sacrifice that she has to make for the family. Husband is pursuing his studies to become a Oromaxillofacial specialist.

I reckon the only to stop becoming a slave is to gain as much knowledge as possible. Then climb the ladder up before you can eventually start giving orders. The climb is the most difficult part, once it is overcame, the greener pasture will be more green that the greenest you could ever imagine about.

Even when you reach the top, you will still be ranting of this and that. A complaint makes you plan what is better for you, doesn't it? So complaining is not really bad after all!

till  next time,
assalamualaikum

For my wife

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I find this song very soothing, and I wanna dedicated it to my beloved wife.



till next time,
assalamualaikum

Emo, Distressed

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

We finished celebrating Yah's(niece) birthday an hour ago. I am now in my room and I feel so lonely tonight. I do not know why.

Life hasn't changed much. Routine takes place everyday, but sometimes it gets very dull. I wake up to the same thing, work, work  and work. It takes 2 1/2 hours minimum everyday for TTDI-Banting-TTDI trip.

What I think is ideal is to have a free and meaningful weekend, where time can be allocated for family and friends. Ever since coming to Banting, I have worked than 50% of the weekends each month. Imagine having to work in 3 out of 4 weekends. Don't ever mention the normal working days.

There are things you will never understand. Here in Malaysia, we produce more than 4000 doctors per annum. Where do these people go after completing their housemanship? We seem not to have enough doctors wherever I go.

Selangor and Kuala Lumpur are 2 states that I find it difficult to fathom. They have the most number of house officers. Apparently it is their policy that all will be sent out of state upon completing housemanship, meaning they will be everywhere all over the country.

The scenario above will directly tell you there is abundance of doctors in the states non Klang Valley. That isn't the case it seems. Every state seems to be struggling with the number of doctors. Ironic, these states have a policy that many will be retained within their own respective states.

So, funny is it not when you wonder where these doctors are?

Go on talking that doctors need to render the best to the needy ones. Don't get us wrong. The majority of us are doing are this for our passion. Does this mean we need to sacrifice everything for your happiness, and leave us with none?

We are not void of feelings you see. We want to see our family and friends too.

One cannot help to wonder why teachers get the most attention in our country, when actually we are the ones working for 30 consecutive hours, sacrificing our sleep and weekend for the people? Do we get the pay that we deserve? No!

My bad, forgive me. We are doctors. We ought to be doing this for free. We are robots.

enough of emo stuff

till next time,
assalamualaikum

500th

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

This is my 500th entry of this blog.

In conjunction with Mother's Day today, I would like to wish Happy Mother's Day to my mother. I love you dearly, and I thank you for all you have done for all of us. Papa's passing hasn't been easy to all of us, let alone you.

Allah is the Perfect Planner. He's the Almighty. From the time I got transferred to KL, till now. Everything swings into a motion smoothly. Though the schedule was ultra hectic, I was given the priviledge to be with my father for 5 months.



I miss his presence.

All I can say is I want to make this entry a tribute to my mother and late father. I offer my service to the both them, while I am still alive. I make doa to Allah to forgiv, and bless them.

till next time
assalamualaikum

Papa

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It is 1 am, and I do not feel sleepy yet. It takes to get used to the feeling that your loved one has left you, forever.

It was just another Friday for me last week. I hadn't seen my wife for 2 weeks, so I decided to spend some time in Melaka with her. I last saw my dad Tuesday last week, when we watched the Kelantan Kedah game together. I went to sleep after the game, and so did he.

Wednesday was my locum, and the day after I had to stay for my on call. Therefore, Friday I thought I should be in Melaka. In the evening I went online to book for 2 tickets. At first when I received the call from Ana(my sister), I thought it was just another call from her, so I decided not to pick up, since I was in the movie. She called again, and I felt something was not right. She was crying, and said 'Papa pengsan".

I immediately left the building, and told my wife that we needed to drive back to KL, as soon as possible. We never packed, and I was in constant contact my sisters, tried telling them what to do. I couldn't think straight, I don;t know what made me call Collin, but I did. I told him, my brothers have started CPR. What a good man he was, he ran immediately from his place to give his best shot to help reviving my dad.

Along the way, another sister called, telling me 'papa dah takde'. I was already quiet when we started to drive from Melaka. I did not drive. I told my wife 'if you think you can drive any faster than me, then, please, drive the car'. She took the key without question.

The moment we reached TTDI, tears started flowing down. I just couldn't help it. There was a large crowd when we reached home. I never planned what to do or how to react. I first hugged my brother, and soon after, I went in. I was in disbelief with what I saw.  Believe me, I can't remember when was the last time I cried this bad.

Being a doctor, seeing dead bodies is a norm. You get numbed after seeing one case after another. It doesn't make you treat the next one any worse, however. You always try to give your best to keep one alive, and sometimes you are lucky, and sometimes you just have find your way to sleep through the night. This time, It was my dad.

Everyone knows 'nobody lives forever'.

Today is Day 3 since his passing. I thank everyone, especially my mother, my syblings, relatives, friends and colleagues. The support that we have had is extraordinary. My mother has been the pillar of strength for all of us. It is not that easy to let the memory go away just like that. She had 36 years together with him, went through ups and downs with him. 

We sorely miss you pa. None of us can afford to be alone at the moment, otherwise tears would be shed. Everything at home reminds us of papa.

We hope you are doing fine there. We will try to send you gifts everyday.We know you are watching us, and hopefully we will make you happy everyday. To be where we are now, we are thankful that Allah lent you to us. It is an unforgettable journey that we have had.

It is beyond our imigination that you have exerted so much impact to the public as well. They have written so many thing about you pa.

FICKRY YAACOB DALAM KENANGAN

DR ASRI - AYAHANDA FICKRY! Saya tangisi pemergian ini

Fickry, Anak Kelantan dan Karangkraf

Belangsungkawa Buat Keluarga Datuk Fickry Yaacob

Al-Fikrah

Take care, pa.

till we meet again.

assalamualaikum

Latest update from Kelantan

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful




A speech from YB Hj Husam Musa. You have got to view the video in order to understand the problems and its solutions

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Counting Hours

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It is 6.48pm now, and I still have 11 hours more to go before I can start packing up to go home. Ward is full, and in the next 11 hours anything can happen.

As it has made headlines in the past few days, our work is very taxing. Malaysians are more educated, and the demand is more as a consequent. Gone are the days when we tell them what to do and they just have to obey it.

Nowadays, lips service is getting equally important as the practical physical service. They demand explanations for this and that. The moment you are seeing the 30h patient you aren't yourself anymore. Unbelievable as it seems, this is only 2012. Imagine how is it going to look like in 2020?

Azri Fickry - 199x

Life is a growing young boy was fun. Now my job is to ensure your kids grow up and achieve his or her maximum potential.

My pay slip

Do not give me a call instantly after you have seen this. For the record, I don't earn what you can see in the cheque.

Now time for dinner. I have a few patients to review tonight. Adios...

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Bold

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Just received 1 good news from wifey in Melaka. I was talking about getting a new BB phone and have even planned to take a few locum slots to fund the cost. Today when I was texting her, I knew something wasn't right. I don't know what it was, but she took longer than usual to reply.

So then I reached home at 7.30pm. I was again exchanging texts with her, and she had something to say. So, long story short, here it is.


May Allah bless you always wifey. You have been nothing but sweet. A gift that one couldn't ask for a better one.

Hopefully, in this rarely free weekend, I get to spend a meaningful time with her. I will be on call tomorrow, and right after rounds on Saturday morning, the destination set will be none other than Melaka.

Fingers crossed, hopefully her brother will be successful in finding a replacement of his locum. Otherwise she will be the obvious target to take the chair.

I've known this song for many years, but only a couple of days ago I finally got to know who the singer was. Enjoy this song wifey, and to you the readers. Sorry the video's a bit old school.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Thugs

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I read with absolute disgust when I saw the news on twitter this morning. A group of gangsters allegedly assaulted the students in Dataran Merdeka.

You may not agree with their stance on the issue. However, you cannot resort to physical beatings when is not in agreement with you. You win an argument with facts, and this is 21st century. I suppose with intelligence, we can build the tallest tower in the world, but the primitive part of human being will still remain.You still want to win, by all means and at all costs so that you can stand tall.

If this group were ever to get caught, I would really feel sorry for them. The one who paid for these thugs would still be laughing, and you'd spend your time in the jail regretting the incident.

There is a tweet this morning 'We will only pay our PTPTN when Tajuddin Ramli pays his'. It does raise a point.

So, which side do you support?

till next time,
assalamualaikum

PTPTN

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Many have heard of the PTPTN issue. Many have commented. Some agree and some don't. The only objective way to find out is to conduct a survey.

In my opinion, free education should be offered, to the current generation. The loanees must payback whatever was given them. A restructuring of the debt is okay, but to write them off is a bit too drastic.

Maybe for the loanees, some restructuring for a payment according to grades should be initiated. For top scorers, make them pay less. For those who spend the money on new phones and entertainment, well, this is not your money people.

I'm pretty sure you have your own opinion too. Feel free to share them.

Us

till next time,
assalamualaikum

A Doc's Life

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Tomorrow is my on call day, and every single doctor in Malaysia in the public sector feels it, the pre-call syndromme. The mood seems to hit the lowest the night before, and it matters not that you have worked for 10 or 20 years. Now that I am no longer in comfort zone, having 8-9 calls per month can be quite taxing.

Pre call, then post call comes afterwards. How do I feel then?

It has, honestly, not once but more that I need to constantly chew and drink to keep myself awake. In the recent years, the workload has tripled, if not doubled. Really, before I started this job, the registration recorded for 2008 was roughly 35k in Kulim Hospital. Came 2009, it shot up to 90k.

For a smaller hospital with less facilities, Banting too recorded 90k patients last year alone. The effects of rising cost of living are prominent. The workload has increased proportionately, and the admin people seem unable to understand the requests from the grassroot for more staff.

You can't help but to feel sorry for the late Dr Lee, the House Officer who passed away a few days ago. I don't believe he had 5 consecutive calls, back to back, as 1 of the reasons cited. In this new system, it is not possible. Whereas, I've already had my shares. In June 2010, I had 17 on calls including 5 calls back to back.

In Malaysia, the tradition is the juniors are not allowed to complain. The seniors will always be ' we went through worse'. This attitude helps a lot, doesn't it? Foolish. You went through worse, so don't even spend thousands for your kids, and please make them go through whatever you had before. Don't worry if your kids suffer, they will become a better person in the future. More resilient, tough and clever, 100% guaranteed.

This issue has to be dealt objectively. If previously you had 3 HOs in 1 department, if 1 created problem, the effect wouldn't be too damaging. Nowadays, if you have 3 problematic ones in a group of 10, the impact is more felt, though the ratio remains the same. With the increasing number of patients, you will want everybody to be functioning.

Nevertheless, the declining quality needs to be acknowledged. I reckon this issue needs more attention in comparison to others. How do you ensure the supervision is maximum when there are 10 junior doctors that he or she needs to look after?

The emphasis now has to shift into producing more specialist doctors, and retain them. Sponsor their MRCPs etc. Pay them with what they deserve.

I had the opportunity to pursue my 1st degree overseas. I can compare these 2 systems. It is unfair to judge, but I can confidently say we can do much better to improve the system. I witnessed this twice, that Junior Doctors went on strike for 2 days, i.e. never came for work for 2 days, after their demand for a pay rise was turned down.

In Malaysia, you would be deemed as weak and bad doctor if you did this. Can you see now the difference in the mentality?

till next time,
assalamualaikum

The Success

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Life is good at the moment. I am attending a Perinatal Annual Congress course in 1 World Hotel, meaning I can save some money from travelling till Sunday.

I met some friends whom I used to work with in Kulim. It feels good, rejuvinated somehow. I can now recall what comfort zone means. I was a Medical Officer for merely 10 months. Nevertheless, I know the place inside out. Now that I have moved on, I have to aim for the stars.

I can see the people around me with different level of success. We the human beings never feel satisfied, do we? Always the thirst is there for one to reach another milestone in life. I envy the people who finally get their chance to pursue Masters, or earning 5 digit salary monthly.

Allah is fair. One day Insyaallah my wishlist will come true. As for now, keep working hard and patience are the keys to success.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

The Journey

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

My wife is with me at Banting now. We'll be staying here for the night. Tomorrow is a public holiday but the job demands my presence in the ward in the next 36 hours, minimum.

I need to thank her for making the sacrifices to come here often. She was on night shift last night, and had a decent 4 hour sleep before starting her engine to reach here. I can't ask for more. In the past 4-5 weeks, she has made most of the travels, while I am stuck in this cowboy town. Everyday is a routine, and the thing that excites me is the countdown to see each other every week.

My boss has been pushing me to sit for the exams to become a medical specialist. No denying that it is an ultimate dream that I need to achieve eventually. The path is straightforward, but full of obstacles. One needs to be determined and focused all the time. I suppose with frequent travels, life couldn't be more difficult. I wake up at 6 am everyday, and reach home at 7 pm. With very little time to spare at night, the long working hours will take its toll long before you realise.

I have started a little. My plan is to be on full throttle when wifey finally gets her transfer, so I can dedicate more time towards achieving what is required.

Sometimes, I realise I make too many excuses. Lol, sometimes?

May Allah pave the easiest way for me to be up on par with the great ones, one day. Amin.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Square One

Assalamualaikum

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It doesn't do anyone any good to be writing after a long hiatus. I suppose it will be very difficult to recapture the visitors that I once averaged 200 per day. Not a bad statistics, considering the fact that I hit the peak when I was a student.

So you ask where am I now. Hospital Banting is where I serve now. I am, thank God, still in Paediatrics. I have completed 1 full year in Paediatrics, and the ups and downs have done nothing spurred my interest into a greater height, Yeah right...

I am moving into 4th month of married life. Baby? No, no luck yet. Is luck alone enough?

My wife and I.

I would really like this blog to be up and alive again. I miss this big part of my life. Writing lights up the world. In order for you to excel, you need to read lots. However, you need somebody to write before you can read, don't you?

My wife has started blogging as well.

Hope P1 Wimax will not disappoint me in Banting. I miss their great service they provided me in Kulim previously.

If only everything could be pre-warned.

Till next time,
assalamualaikum

The Tablet

aIal think Imualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious The Most Merciful

This is my first time blogging with Samsung Galaxy Tab. To be honest, it has been a great experience. The interface is smooth, very fluid and the colours are fantastic.

I thank first and foremost to Allah for granting me 28 years of life so far. I turned 28 last week, and to have been given this present was really unprecedented. Special thanks to Aisyah Amalia.

Time moves so fast that in less than 6 weeks, the most waited event of the year will take place. Preparation-wise, there are heaps that yet to be solved. Being far away from family, who has been helpful, doesn't help the course at all.

I think I will stop writing as for now.

Take care readers. Till next time
assalamualaikum

The Reckoning

assalamualaikum

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Merciful

I'm pretty confident many have heard of Sir Elton John's first ever( and likely his last) in Malaysia. His ads can be seen in many daily newspapers.

That is normal. What is abnormal is Pas Youth seems to be making headlines as well. The way they work is the moment an event is announced, they will be among the first to protest. They seem to excel very well here. Excel in protesting, of course.

Many are disappointed with the current leadership of current Pas youth. Some may disagree, but that's alright.

I don't mean to intervene in their work, but in my opinion, the focus should be turned on to improving the Muslims. Protesting here and there does not make Islam more attractive. What they need to do is to constantly provide alternative entertainment to the youth. Make them attracted to you.

Let the non Muslims do whatever they want. They are entitled to it. We must now focus on strengthening the faith of Muslims. Come whatever may, our resilient will be as strong as ever.

PAS Youth really needs to improve.

till next time.
assalamualaikum

Gibberish

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It is 1 am to be precise. I finished my locum at 12 midnight, and got into talking with friends in ward for some time before finally reaching home.

So what is new in life?

I reckon I still have issues to this so called group 'Himpun'. In my opinion, they have been misled in their objectives. I won't go into details in this entry, because you know, it's 1 am.

To those who are expecting my presence in the next Raya Haji, it is sad to announce that I won't be making my way back home. I really can't. The weekend after I have a course to attend in Universiti Malaya, which coincides with my birthday too, so I had to decide what is best for all.

Of late, I have had difficulty in falling asleep. It runs in the family, unfortunately. It really stresses the hell out of you everytime you wake up feeling tired. It is a test from Allah to test if patience is really one of your virtues. Do I own one? Yes, you, tell me.

Apart from those above, I have less than 8 weeks before I finally tie the know with the special one. Kind of my feelings really. You feel scared moving into another stage of life, but you can't deny the excitement too. My counterpart says she feels lucky not to be a man, because of the responsibilities and all.

Lol! Gibberish eh?

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Fight

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It is 12 midnight, and I can't seem to settle down on my bed. My brain is preoccupied with things that I have no answers to its respective questions.

In between 2 people with obvious differences in character and personality, how do you find compatibility between them? You handle things your way, and so does she. They may not suit your way, and vice versa.

Occasionally a fight erupts between these couples. A fight can be a simple and trivial one. It the big one that makes you lose your sleep. A lot of theories invented including one that asks you to keep it low until the mood of your counterpart cools down.

Really it is down to the differences that determine the way you handle a fight.

You may wonder why am I writing on this.

I don't have the answer.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Home

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

My application for a transfer to my beloved hometown was approved last week. I was informed through a telephone call, and there is no black and white yet at the moment.

Should the letter be here by anytime soon, I will leave this place with mixed feeling. It has been a memorable 2 and a half years. Kulim was already known as Kulim Hi Tech way before I knew I would be transferred here. Back then Kulim was a far quieter place compared to now.

Everytime I am here I feel content with life. All the basic necessities are easy to find here. There is no traffic jam, and the spirit of neighbourhood is well felt. People can recognise me and at times, honestly I have to pretend that I know who they are. You hardly get people pretending you are not there, when you actually are.

But whenever I am back home, it is always home sweet home.



So I have had a few homes now.

I need to settle down I reckon.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Himpun - My Side

Assalamualaikum

Dengan nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani

Tujuan saya menulis adalah untuk menyuarakan pendapat mengenai 'HIMPUN'. Secara kasarnya, ia merupakan perhimpunan yang dianjurkan oleh pertubuhan bukan kerajaan (NGOs) dengan objektif-objektif tertentu.

Secara umumnya, penganjur dan penyokong adalah golongan orang yang berilmu.

Di samping menyedari ancaman pendakwah agama lain yang semakin jelas, satu hakikat yang kurang disedari sebenarnya masyarakat Melayu adalah jahil terhadap agama Islam itu sendiri. Mata pelajaran agama pun ramai yang tak lulus, dan bukanlah satu perkara yang mengejutkan bila kita mendengar belia berumur 25 tahun tidak tahu membaca al-Fatihah.

Saya tidak menentang pendekatan mubaligh agama lain, kerana itu memang tanggungjawab yang dipikul oleh mereka.

Jika saudara pernah mengikuti tulisan saya sebelum ini, saya juga antara orang yang tidak bersetuju dengan kempen boikot Israel.

link http://azrifickry.blogspot.com/2008/05/pilihanku.html

Saya melihat perjuangan pada zaman dahulu, Rasulullah tidak membuat demonstrasi atau mengajak rakyat berkumpul untuk menyuarakan bantahan terhadap orang yang menentang Islam. Sebaliknya apa yang dilakukan ialah penerapan berterusan akidah orang Islam.

Apa yang harus ditekankan ialah suara bersepadu untuk mengukuhkan akidah umat Islam.

Jika kita berkeras hendak memprotes golongan Kristian sebagai contoh, bagaimana pula jika golongan bukan Muslim juga berkeras untuk membantah pengislaman kaum-kaum bukan Melayu. Jika kehendak kedua-dua pihak dituruti, maka kita akan menemui jalan buntu, di mana hanya Melayu akan menjadi Muslim dan golongan bukan Melayu terus dengan agama mereka.

91. Allah sekali-kali tidak mempunyai anak, dan sekali-kali tidak ada tuhan (yang lain) beserta-Nya, kalau ada tuhan beserta-Nya, masing-masing tuhan itu akan membawa makhluk yang diciptakannya, dan sebagian dari tuhan-tuhan itu akan mengalahkan sebagian yang lain. Maha Suci Allah dari apa yang mereka sifatkan itu,

92. Yang mengetahui semua yang ghaib^[1019] dan semua yang nampak, maka Maha Tinggilah Dia dari apa yang mereka persekutukan. Al-Mu'minun ayat 91-92

Golongan-golongan agama juga agak konservatif, dan ramai pula yang senyap bila golongan-golongan berilmu dinafikan mengajar di Selangor dengan alasan tiada tauliah. Tujuan pengajian ialah untuk memantapkan kefahaman tentang Islam.

Tapi yang menariknya, apa yang ditumpukan ialah ilmuan agama lain dilarang untuk mendekati umat Islam.

Golongan pengajar Islam yang hendak mendekati orang Islam pula dilarang. Ironis, dan di manakah keutamaannya?



Saya pernah menulis beberapa artikel yang sedikit sebanyak ada kaitan dengan topik yang saya bincangkan di atas.

http://azrifickry.blogspot.com/2007/09/searching-for-god.html

Klik di pautan(link) di atas.

till next time,
assalamualaikum