Burnt out

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

This is only Day 3 of my 5 day break. Break from work, it is supposed to sound fun. Mentally I'm only few stages yet from reaching equal-to-leukaemia-spent-phase. I feel so burnt out.

Exams are months away. 4 months to be exact. Oh, I forgot to mention that I've spent 3 days reading Nelson Textbook of Paediatrics.

It's thickness is probably 5-6 cm. I can deal with that. What is killing me is the text is so wordy.

Nevertheless, I'll give my best shot for this upcoming Year 1 exams. I can imagine what's life going to be like in the next 4 months.

Studying as a medical student wasn't that hard. You have no other commitments other than your books and exams. It is different this time, especially having your family around. You need to have allocated time for them, for them being the most precious possession forever. 24 hours is not enough for your studies, your own family, your extended family and football definitely.

Allah is the Most Fair of all. He knows what is best.

Tomorrow will be the same old routine.

On LFC related matter, has anyone come to realise that we have not signed any new player yet? The only signature that we have secured is Dunkin Donuts. How lame is that? I can't complain though. We can at least be proud to have succeeded, since 2 of our targets were stolen by CFC and Spurs.

Can't get any lame than that, huh?

I'll try to come up with something fun. Or something provocative. I've been picking up unnecessary fights on Facebook. Lol!

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Agree to disagree

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I was involved in a healthy debate with a friend recently. Well, people have their own ideas and so do I. For you to move forward, one thing that you ought to learn is to agree to disagree.

While he admits to have been doing his research, one should not resort to thinking that I prefer to stay here and listen to hearsays.

I decided not to extend the argument. I thought it would bring more harm than good. Therefore I discontinued it.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Hakikat yang tak diketahui

assalamualaikum

Dengan nama Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang

Terfikir sejenak sewaktu menghabiskan masa di facebook. Ada satu hamba Allah menzahirkan pendapat beliau tentang beberapa isu.

Bermula dengan gegaran sewaktu jenazah Ariel Sharon dikebumikan. Digambarkan seolah-olah bumi sendiri tidak mahu menerima jasad. Sama ada kebetulan atau hakikat, itu bukanlah persoalan sebenar yang ingin saya timbulkan.

Sejak dari bangku sekolah menengah kita dimomokkan dengan cerita betapa kejinya makhluk bernama Mustafa Kamal Attartuk. Tidak perlu saya coret satu persatu, terlalu banyak dan semuanya tidak datang dengan sumber bertulis yang sah.

Ini menjadikan saya ingin tahu bagaimanakah pandangan orang Turki sendiri terhadap pemimpin mereka ini. Adakah beliau seburuk itu? Adakah cerita-cerita yang didengari sebelum ini benar-benar  betul?

Seakan-akan pelik bila seluruh dunia menghina seorang tokoh tetapi tokoh ini masih disanjungi di tempat beliau sendiri? Stadium bola sepak pun turut dinamakan dengan nama beliau.

Kalau sesiapa yang ada kelapangan dan ada sumber yang reliable, mohon dikongsi bersama. Sekadar ingin tahu sahaja.

Jangan nanti saya dituduh liberal pula, hahaha.

sehingga bertemu kembali
salam

Sweet charity

assalamualaikum

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I have come to realise that as you get older, you will find that being smart and confident is extremely attractive. Not in inappropriate manner of course.

A few academicians have caught some attention of late. One of them is Dr Maszlee. I used to idolize Dr Maza for introducing the idea of celebrating different school of thoughts. Dr Maszlee is different.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoABPZZUD0E

I reckon that one day, when I'm finally done with my Masters, I would like to be active in NGO related activities. I want to give back to the public. The sweetness of committing yourself for the good of the public is very rewarding.

One day, Azri, one day.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Kangkung lagi

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Today hasn't been the most fruitful day. Productivity was not as high as planned. Nothing much was planned out, so to have failed achieving few objectives set is very disappointing.

The jokes have been pretty much on kangkung today. A very big political blunder by our PM. It's like you are supplying ammos to your enemy to crush you. Though 51% of Malaysians did not get what they wanted in the last GE, the stronger opposition that resulted out of it now provides better check and balance to the existing government.

We hope more better news to come in the coming months and years. Many promises have been broken. The least you could do now is lower down the car prices. People are restless. They have already worked their socks off very hard to ensure ends met every months, yet in the end the debts are getting bigger and bigger.

This was taken in Bogor, Indonesia. We spent our holiday there with her great grandmother. She is still going strong at the age of 92. I don't even know if I could even reach 70!

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Long day

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It's 12.28 am, 14/ 1/ 14. My wife is asleep next to me, and so is the baby too. It has been a very long day indeed. 

It all started with routine waking up at 6.15. If it wasn't for Liverpool vs. Stoke, I would have had 6 hours of sleep minimal. I was already 2 hours short to begin with. Then came work, where ICU was full, and the number of patients in the ward is just astonishing. We've been working with the bed occupancy rate of more than 100% for the past many many months. 

It is evident that when the costs of living have escalated, people become poorer. Many of us in the urban areas are lucky enough to secure some insurance package for health reasons. Despite that, the number of beds in private hospital is limited. Therefore they will keep flocking in to the government hospitals. We used to boast around to our colleagues the next morning if we had a good (on) call. Nowadays, we hardly get to even think about it. 

We just know that we will come out as zombies the next day. Neither alive nor dead. 

Lol, we still love what we do really. Wait, the day didn't end at 5. The O&G team decided to send my brother in law's wife under the knife for caesarian section. I went in voluntarily to help. The baby is fine, alhamdulillah. It was the process of putting her to sleep that still traumatizes me. 

Tomorrow is public holiday. Now I need to try my best to fall asleep. Dozing off for 2 hours earlier surely will not help much.

Like a boss right?

till next time,

assalamualaikum

Return of the king

Assalamualaikum

Really has been a while, right?

To be honest I don't know what makes me want to write today. Lately, I've been wondering if I should start writing again.

Exams are around the corner. Ironic that though it only comes in middle of May, adrenaline has already kicked in. I get more restless as time passes by. It ought to be accompanied by, ideally, the urge to read. The battle is sometimes lost halfway, when you have other commitments that you must attend to.

Nonetheless, I am happy with the way things have been happening. I learn everyday that getting older does not necessarily make you wiser. Work wise, I am surrounded by enthusiastic and energetic youngsters.They keep me going constantly. We are all aware that the stamina to study is inversely proportionate with age. lol!!

In keeping with the real world, I've been making noise a lot in twitter. I don't tweet that lot, but I enjoy exchanging ideas. Issues of Allah, Bible raid and economics, to name a few that have kept the nation rocking.

I'll try to make blogging a habit again. This is Natasya Azzahra, if you don't know yet.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Discontent

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Been a while, right?

It's very odd that you feel like you are living on a fast line, when you are actually working in a district hospital? Supposedly quiet, with less troublesome headaches of bureaucracy. That does not happen here. People always want you to give 100%, yet nothing ought to be asked from them.

I'm tired of this. If I could rewind time, I would take my wife back to Kulim. It was home. Or if somebody could, please, please take me away from Banting.

I don't feel appreciated here, yet I am 1 of the most reliable here.

Nobody's listening.  Sigh

till next time,
assalamualaikum

PALS

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I passed PALS! After 3 days of a super exhausting course and exams, I can finally relax.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Not Ideal

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I'm bored.

It is still an hour away before my car service is complete. I've gone to most of my routine websites, and I don't know what to do now. I drove all the way from Banting. Purposely left the place at 8.15am, with the hope of avoiding the traffic. Who would've thought the traffic would be equally bad as 6pm's?

I should've gone to Kelang instead. I did not, because I reckon coming to a place where I am more familiar with would make me more comfortable. Mistake, mistake. Now I need to stay on the road for an hour more, to reach Banting.

So many complaints. So little time, so much to do.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Burnt out

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Where else can I be writing this from? It is 10.50pm, and not 2 minutes ago I was informed another case is coming in.

Today is a strange day. We completed our round before proceeding to my presentation. The topic was 'Dehydration and Electrolytes Imbalance'. I thought I did well. Since 5 pm, I started to feel a sense of restlessness.

Tomorrow is only half day for me, and I'll have some time for rest. Saturday, I have a wedding to attend. Sunday is on call. Next weekend, another 2 weddings for me. The weekend after is on call. The subsequent weekend is PALS course.

How can I not complain? I feel burnt out. I just need a break. Did I manage to utilise last weekend for me? No!! Altogether, it will be 5 weekends in a row without a break.

I can choose not to go to these weddings. Having said that, some things are beyond your power to have a say.

I gotta stop. Patient hasn't come yet, but I'm in no cheerful mood.

Till next time,
assalamualaikum

You!

Assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

You! Yes, you! Why are you reading my blog?

I'm bored. I'm in the middle of completing a power point presentation this Thursday. Come and join me. The topic is Dehydration and Electrolytes Imbalance.

Gotta go.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Euphoric!

assalamualaikum

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Hi folks! I just got off from my treadmill, n it feels euphoric to have so much endorphin circulating in your body. Still sweating though.

Back in 2011,  going to the gym was a routine. No, not the weight lifting stuff. I would spend 30 minutes on average for cardio, and another 10-20 minutes on my will-never-get-slimmer tummy. Come July 2011, it all stopped. The desire to come home was too good to turn down.

Now that life isn't as turbulent as before, I hope I can allocate some good minutes whenever I can for exercise. They say investing in health is the best investment ever. I'm pretty sure those good things for you do not come for free. Money, health, spouse, you name it. You have to work hard to achieve them.

So guys, come and join me. Endorphin is equivalent to euphoria. Try it!

For my wife,



till next time,
assalamualaikum

Update

Assalamualaikum

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Pity my wife. She has been firing on all cylinders for the past 2 days. She is one of the organisers of district level 'Karnival Jelajah Sihat'. She's now soundly asleep, and I just let her be. The amount of effort she put in was magnificent. Fortunately, tomorrow is a day off for all Malaysians. Therefore, we have all the time in the world for both of us.

It wasn't a quiet night for me either. I was on my 5th on call of the month. I stepped into the ward, only to find that less than half of the patients had been seen. I wondered why. How unlucky you could be when you start your call with a premature baby of 30 weeks, weighing 1.2 kg. Resuscitation alone took about 2 hours, before we eventually transferred her to a Kelang Hospital.

May Allah grant you health to you, you tiny boy.

Now, let's talk about future. Previously I did mention that I had handed in my Masters application form. After speaking to several experts, I have decided that I want to go for MRCPCh exams in February next year. I don't know what is best, but I don't want waste much more time.

Banting is a nice place. They've been kind towards me, but I can't stand doing the same thing any longer. It would be nice if our Ministry of Health listened to the grassroots. The schedule I find is anything but free.

Serious matters aside, have any of you tried Line? It's another apps, available in most Os. It comes in very handy, and cute too. It is something like WhatsApp, but better. Do add me up.

I will have photos in my next entry. 

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Syawal

Assalamualaikum

In the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

It has been 2 months since the last entry. Life is never getting easier, and I face more and more challenges everyday.

We are still in Syawal, the month of celebration after 1 month of fasting. It is only Day 1 of Syawal that is the Day of celebration. Something that can never be changed is our tradition to have the whole month for celebration.

While other people are attending open houses everywhere, I am stuck in the on call room. I wish I could change the whole system.

Not all is bad. I have lived together with my beloved wife for close to 3 months now. Happier of course. We are still working to our best capacity to furnish the house. With fixed salary, this must be done in bits. Still I try to achieve without compromising my coffers.

Funny, I bought this when it is not in our to-buy list. I realise that I have my fitness level has reached the lowest since I started this work. Knowing that I have a minimum 7 on calls + 7 post (on)calls, I have a maximum of 16 days for physical activities. Minus 4 weekends, I am left with 8 days. How much can I achieve with that?

On the academic side of me, I have applied for Masters programme in July. Yes, it is Paediatrics. Fingers crossed, I hope the application will go well. Should I get it, I next hope to come out of the programme alive. Lol!

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Emo

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

I don't what has got into me tonight, but I am a bit emo now.

I wish, more than anything now, that all of us are reunited under one roof again.

   

Kami doakan papa diampunkan semua dosa dan diberikan ketenangan di sana. Family ties are closer than ever. Many events to come will be different without your presence. 

We miss you. 

till next time,

assalamualaikum 

Euro fever

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Everybody seems zombified since the beginning of Euro 2012. I, too, can't help it.

To avid followers, they surely know that I have been a Germany supporter through thick and thin. My opinion remains the same, that Micheal Ballack is one of the best midfielders in the world. Though his playing career is almost over, his class acts last forever.

The charisma that he possesses is an inspiration for me. Typical German, he rose to stardom in 2004. He almost single handedly led Bayer Leverkusen to 3 trophies, only to falter right at the finishing line. He then masterminded Germany's progress in the next World Cup, Euro, World Cup and Euro again.

We are still at early stages. Tonight France will play England. The underperfoming England boast some gifted players, but have failed to lift any trophy since, 1966? My bad, it's too long that anybody can remember.

To the preachers, now is the best time for you to preach. Be smart. Do not tell them 'why can you wake at 2 am to watch football, but you are so weak to perform a 2 rakaat solat?'. Instead tell them, right after the game, why not spend 5-10 minutes for a short prayer, i.e. Tahajjud. Sounds nicer and softer, doesn't it?

It is natural. The more restrictions you place on them, the more rebellious they will become. If they enjoy watching football, so be it. We were thought of the 'wasatiah' concept, so practise it.



I am wataching to this video as I am typing. Very beneficial, in my opinion.

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Lompat Katak

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

As of 3.30 pm 10th of June 2012, nobody from Sabah has defected to PR, or more specifically to PKR. Elections are around the corner, everybody knows that. So why are we getting defections at this close to 11th hour?

Do all of you actually condone this attitude?

I personally don't. However, there are always exceptionals right? If one was never offered money, why should it be a problem.

You can't deny that more often that not, incentives are offered. It is very difficult to trust one's intention and honesty nowadays. One MP jumps to PKR, one finally finds the 'truth' in BN, and few have gone independent.

All I want to see is a change, that Malaysia badly needs. A total reform is required to take the nation to a greater height. GE 13, I hope Malaysians will all come and vote. Not only that, vote for the right one!

till next time,
assalamualaikum

Mixed emotions

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Im feeling pretty excited at the moment!I get to see wifey tomorrow. For us, it's the same cycle again every week. We'll be counting days and hours before the world becomes ours again.

Lol! Sounds very feminine eh? Perhaps it does.

It's not we live together. She's still Malaccans and I, here have to work my socks off to earn a decent salary. Our schedules hardly match each other's. She gets alternate weekends off, whereas for me the schedule is fixed a month before the present.

So unlike other married couples, our life is about exchanging phone calls and photos every day. Sounds a bit like university students doesn't it? Lol!! You must be wondering why on earth am I having a photo of mine in this entry? It's one of the photos that I sent to her when I was on call.

Her transfer request form has finally reached Ministry of Health, Putrajaya. God Willing, she'll be in Banting in no time.

Soon, sister is coming back from Canada with her family. Another to reach KLIA in July 3rd, and insyaAllah the family will be complete before raya. It breaks our hearts that one person is lacking, and he is sorely missed.

We miss you pa. Not a single day passes we never think of you. Kitorang cuba doakan papa selalu. We thank you for what you have done, what you have given to us.

You know, if it wasn't for your request, I would have insisted Sungai Buloh for the wedding venue. =). If it wasn't for you, I would not be where I am now.

I really hope all of us will meet again in syurga.

till we meet again pa,

assalamaulaikum

You'll walk alone sometimes

assalamualaikum

in the name of Allah the Most Gracious the Most Merciful

Right now, I am on the 3rd consecutive on call. My family members have questioned me, why do I have to work so hard?

This is the only way I know how to make some money. I would let go on call if I could. I don't feel at  home here in Banting. I really hate covering O&G.

You can't run away from problems. But, how do u react when you are wrongly blamed for doing things you never did?

I told them many times, The reason I hate O&G so much is because I do not want to go through sleepless nights thinking over mistakes that I did.

I did not kill anyone. I did not injure anyone.

What I loathe is to be held responsible, on things I have little knowledge about. I warned them beforehand, that it would do more harm than good if I was given the responsibility.



Yeah yeah, 'we went through worse before'.

Very mature attitude indeed.

till next time,
assalamualaikum